ISLAMICALLY,men can beat wives for disobedience or ill conduct,so can i beat my husband if he does the same?

some ulama say its better woman dont beat their husbands also if he is disobedient and has ill conduct because he kight just hi me back and severely beat me,so i must rather go to family members.so if my husband can beat me lightly,i will still feel alittle physically hurt right,then isnt it only fair that when i approach my family members if he is doing ill conduct than my brothers and father likewise also beats him so that he can feel also alittle physically hurt?