I really don't know what to do anymore ?!PLEASE HELP?

He well BE I have no idea what do anymore it's a long story bu I'll try and cut it short. Basically I'm in love with this boy and have been for lke a year and a half. I'm 14 don't say just cos I'm fourteen I don't know what love is cos I do. He's my best friend and I lie him so muh but he's like ruining my life. My feeelings have gone ridiculusly bad and I don't know what to do anymore. I was onna tell him the other day but I didn't because I thought I was trying over him and I'm pretty scared at how he would react. I mean when I've been in other relaionshops I've aalways finished them cos we would barely speak when I was with another boy. We have like a really close bond and he used to like me but he doesn't anymore. He always talks about the girl he likes and I'm always a good mate like yeaaaa cool and stuff but really it's killing me inside. I mean last year I was ina relationship wih this guy ho I properr liked as in best bf ever and lovely and I loved him so much by my bm barely spoke to me so I had to finish it it left boh me and the other big heartbroken tbh. I'm fed up with him ruling my life tbh I know he doesnn mean to but still he does. I've tried gettin over him bib tbh it's reall not working!